Creative One on Ones
Modeling is a necessary part of discipleship.
We must spend time each week with those whom we are discipling in a one on one situation to really make a lasting mark. We spend time with people to develop strong relationships. Strong discipleship is the natural outflow of strong relationships.
This process is effective not only because it is biblical – but also practical. Disciples learn the Christian lifestyle because they see it modeled, then live it, then teach it themselves to others in the context of community.
What is really expected?
Spend time with people. Make it a natural thing Share life in ways like shopping, eating, and hanging out, etc. Get to know the other person. Ask questions and begin to share about your life. Remember – relationship is a two way street. The more time you spend with an individual and build a friendship – the more natural it is for sharing the things of Christ with them.
What not to do:
Don’t force people to meet with you if they don’t want to. If people won’t meet with you, don’t just drop them either – continue e-mailing or calling them or inviting them to do things. Let them know without pressuring them that they are loved and accepted.
What does it look like?
Set a Goal: If you don’t aim for anything, then you will never hit the mark. You must have a way of measuring progress. There needs to be a focus and a goal to the discipleship process. At some point you must move beyond just “hanging out” to “time with intention.” Prayerfully consider the persons needs and address issues that are both obvious and fundamental to the Christian life
Scripture Based: We can give people our opinions and thoughts – but if we don’t base our comments and counsel on the Word of God – we are simply offering them the wisdom of men.
Lay a good foundation in their life based on scripture – not just fluff that won’t stand the pressures of life.
Prioritize Prayer: With the power of God behind you, your time can be life impacting. The great Missionary Hudson Taylor once said, “I move men by prayer alone.” This perspective can change how we do discipleship. People’s lives don’t have scripts and you can’t write them for them. Neither can we change people – but God alone can. Take time not only to pray for the people you are discipling but also take time in your One on Ones to pray with that individual.
Some of the folks you will be discipling will be beyond these basics. Part of your job as a leader is equipping them to take your place. In other words, work yourself out of a job! Look for ways to give responsibilities away. Look for areas of need and growth in their lives for your 1 on 1 time. Here are some ideas:
Creative One on One Ideas
• Draw your spiritual journeys, including highs and lows, key people and places.
Share these with each other.
• Do evangelism together.
• Plan a fun event for the Life Group together
• Hang out in their dorm room or apartment. Look at their old yearbooks and photo albums.
• Work at a soup kitchen together.
• Practice the covenant of encouragement together and write a note to someone in small group or the fellowship.
• Do a prayer walk through part or all of campus together.
• Write a personal Mission statement.
• Pray for missionaries and pastors the two of you know.
• Clean out your closets together and take the stuff to Second Hand
• Go to a park, walk around a lake or go to a museum.
• When you catch them sharing how a sermon they heard really ministered to them, take the time to write a note of affirmation and appreciation to that pastor.
• Bake a treat together and take it to small group that week.
• Play pool, board games, darts or go do sports together.